I am emerging from the fog of transformation. It is certainly not complete, but I am beginning to find my bearings after the Mysterium training with Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes.
An open heart is a difficult space to find and maintain in this world. At least for me it is. It opens and slowly closes. Opens again. Closes through difficult relationships, onslaughts of deadlines and expectations, an ever-growing task list, seeing and feeling the sorrows of the world. How can one ever keep the heart open and flowing in alignment with itself?
Is that perhaps the definition of a master? I am not sure. But I am sure that the cosmic task to which I am called requires me to be as aligned and openhearted as possible. Otherwise I cannot discern where to go next or what to do.
Dr. Estes, or dr. e. as she prefers, made a gesture last week of covering her eyes when speaking of using one’s inner vision. It is the practice of checking in with your cosmic task to discern the best course of action, the next right step. It is such a simple gesture that for me instantly calls me to leave the outer circumstances behind to find clarity within.
Several years ago I began to find clarity on my cosmic task. Since then, the work has been to keep clarity, continue to open my heart again and again when it closes, and learn to discern the next step.
Most often I escape into my intellect. It is an alluring place to hide out in knowledge, learning and logic. But the mind without the heart is cold. The heart leads and the mind executes. As with many people, I was raised to lead with the mind.
Do not underestimate the strength required to lead with heart. It is both simple and exacting. It is the narrow path. It is the way that is not trodden by others. What an intricate tapestry of beauty is woven when all are following their cosmic task in the way their heart leads.
I experienced this directly in the Mysterium training. Over 100 people from ages 20 to 70+, from all kinds of work and all over the world came together as brothers and sisters devoted to the work their heart calls them as healers. I have never felt so enveloped in love and support as with these people. As a group, it was full of mutual respect for our unique paths. There was understanding of both the joy of the heart-led work and the difficulty of the narrow, winding path that often feels very isolated. In this experience we found communion with each other.
What opens your heart to compassion and purpose? What daily rituals connect you to Source? It is of utmost importance to find these tools and use them daily. Can you bear the thought of not living your heart’s task, of being the walking dead? What advice would your elder self give to you about your life as you are living it? What needs to die so you can live in your truth?
Hard questions, but nothing else really matters. My heart right now feels enormous. I am flowing and floating in love, compassion, and purpose. It is this moment. In each next moment I will have to make a new decision to keep it open or allow it to shrink. How can you open your heart and keep it open?
If you desire support and assistance, seek it out. Roots and Wings is a great place to find sisterhood, and we also offer individual coaching. We all journey together and alone. It is one of the divine paradoxes of life. You can have the support you require to live your unique openhearted life.
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